Day 1:

This journey begins with five girls meeting up to collect a hire car in OR Tambo Airport, Johannesburg.   Maps, plans, a GPS, phone numbers and guide books, CDs, cameras and all other essentials are packed up...

Much excitement and catch up chat, then a feast at the Carnivore restaurant (while the 6^th girl is probably snoozing through her in-flight movie…)

Day 2: Water-slides and dronkies

A bright crisp J-burg day (same all winter, I’m told) when I’m met by the lovely Claire, and driven 70km NW of the city, past gated compounds, townships, platinum mines and their communities, savannah scenery and gently rolling hills.  

We arrive at Sun City, a huge casino/holiday complex (established in what was previously foreign country - Bophuthatswana, when gambling was illegal in South Africa).   Based on the legend of a Lost City, there are massive towers and sculpted animals, on a bridge which quakes as smoke comes out of the animals’ nostrils (the earthquake which causes this civilisation to be wiped out).  

We survive and make it to the water park, where the others are already sunning themselves, (although the water is pretty cold!).

Introductions all round, and I feel slightly culture shocked to be catapulted from sweltering Paris to a sunny but breezy fake beach in the middle of the desert.  Pizza helps, and I am soon relaxed, watching the kids squeal as the wave machine throws them around.

After our lunch settles the waterslides beckon… my first SA initiation, I’m informed.  A double inflatable tube into a pitch black waterslide!  Then there’s “The Temple of Courage” – a 17m drop, quickly re-named “The Wedgie”.

Quite refreshed and exhausted, we change and wander in search of a suitable place to have a Skemeikelkie – a sun-downer, and choose a view over the golf course to the mountains beyond.

There are monkeys in the trees!

We eat at Squires, then make the long drive back to J-burg, avoiding the wild donkeys on the road…

Day 3: Johannesburg's history lesson

Our nostrils are assaulted by the scent of a proper Sunday fry-up, Mr Hughes is a legend!

We head to Gold Reef City, a theme park based on the gold rush era in J-burg.   

We ride rollercoasters, have photos taken, eat candy floss, popcorn and muffins, and see a tribal dancing show.

The afternoon is spent in the fascinating, sobering and enormous Museum of the Apartheid. 

After a couple of hours, I have information and emotion overload, and realise I am only half way through.  Incredible images, testimonies and legal documents illustrate, in equal measure, the cruelty, insanity, bravery and determination of the people of this time.   I am in awe of the heroes, and disbelieving of the perpetrators.

That evening we eat at a Portuguese restaurant, where we consume several kg of delicious shrimp. 

Day 4:

This day begins with another SA tradition (and soon to be road trip staple): breakfast at Wimpy.  Muriel, our waitress, is a scream and full of banter.  

We are joined by a J-burg celebrity, Andrew, who is a local radio DJ and gave us a mention on his show yesterday.

We stock up on picnic things and head out to a private game reserve.   Initial excitement turns our to be a fibre-glass elephant, giraffe and zebra at the entrance gate.  

We see (real) white rhino and baby, ostrich, and many types of Bok, wildebeests and birds.  

Visiting the predator enclosure, we stop beside an extremely lazy pile of lions snoozing in the grass.  There’s not much going on there today, because they apparently know it’s Monday, when they’re not fed.   

We visit the Wondercaves, under the game park, a steep climb down then a ancient-looking lift into the gloom.   This huge cave system is famous for the natural limestone formations and our cheeky guide tells us stories and jokes as he shows us around.  

(A large iron ore deposit here means that lightening strikes are extremely common here, and as a result the park has had no giraffes for many years…)

We pass zebra, more rhino, ostrich and warthog on the way to the picnic area, and then explore the crèche, baby rhino, hippo, lion cubs and a multitude of other animals are here.  

The tigers and cheetah look bored and depressed. I hope I’m wrong.  

For about £3 I’m allowed into an enclosure to play with four 3-month old lion cubs. They’re inquisitive and playful, smell like horses on a hot day and their short fur is surprisingly wiry (though their ears are fluffy).  

I am bitten a couple of times, but the handler assures me “they’re bored, it’s because they bite” and not hungry…

That evening we eat Italian at a restaurant inside a gaudy and noisy casino, but the main attraction are the huge colourful waltzing waters, which, despite the cold, we dance and sing along to. 

Day 5: baboons bums and bushfires...

We’re off!  6am as we pull out the gates heading north passing many trucks, minibuses and pickups of cold, bleary-eyed workers and school pupils on their way into the city.  

The mist rolling across the valley is spooky and beautiful as the sun rises and begins to warm the land.

We’re heading to Mpumalanga, passing pretty towns and taking an accidental detour through a township.  Muffins and music keep us occupied.

We arrive at Pilgrim’s Rest, a pretty little tin-roofed town with a rich history of gold prospecting.

Today it’s mainly a tourist stop off, to explore the preserved buildings and browse beadcrafts, chatting to the artists.  We eat fabulous pancakes for lunch then head out to God’s Window, passing the occasional baboon on the road.  

  

Large tracts of land are being burnt during the winter, and we pass some fairly spectacular ( but controlled) bush fires.

After that it’s a l-o-n-g drive all the way to the middle of nowhere – a dairy farm in Reitz, where Annette is waiting for us, bless her heart, with lasagne and tea at 1am!